juliejulie

Okay, friends, it is time for me to close up this account even though the support here is WONDERFUL.

But the truth is, I just have bigger things going on than focusing on my weight.  I have a very ill parent, a cross country move, the end of one job and hopeful beginning of another.

I have weight to lose and it is important to me because it does effect my emotional and physical health.  So you will see me again in a few months once my life has settled a bit and I have the luxury of spending such time on this issue.  In the meantime, my health is a day to day choice I make and I will look to eat healthy and stay active, just not fixate.  I’m closing this account because MY BUDDIES are fantastic and I want everyone to know I’ll be away, rather than have anyone sending me messages and not hearing back- just so that everyone knows it isn’t personal.

BUDDIES:  I won’t be online much for now, but once my life settles I will look ya’ll up if I start another account.

Everyone:  Make it happen!  You make yourself happy, healthy and whole.  You’ve got a world of support here for you and YOU CAN DO IT if you choose to.  I’m wishing you all the best and hoping you find the balance in your lives that brings you peace and contentment.

With Love,

Julie 

Like I said in my last blog, I’m shifting my focus from losing weight to really being healthy.  I know how to eat right and exercise, but I’m not doing it.  I’m an emotional eater- when I’m lonely, bored, frustrated and so I’m working on addressing that first.

Tomorrow morning, I’m starting a log of all the calories I put in and the calories I’m spending.  Those estimates should give me a good idea of what I need to change.  I think I know, but this’ll double check me.  I always find that I’m less likely to binge or eat when I’m ont hungry if I’m going to have to log it.

Also, on Tuesday I start volunteer work at a Food Pantry.  Maybe that will help me develop a healthier relationship with food, looking at it as life sustaining rather than an emotional crutch.  It’ll also take up 6-8 hours a week, and since I’m working part time while job searching, I have the time to spare and what better way to spend it?

My scale is packed away for now.  This is, and must be, about my HEALTH.  Weight loss will come.  I guess I’m not ready for it yet.

Exercise more, eat less.  Use more calores than you consume.

Yep, that’s how you lose weight.  But let’s be honest.  Few of us gained weigh because we didn’t understand that or because our metabolism is too slow or we are physically limited.  

I gain weight because I use food as a comfort.  I eat when I am bored, sad, lonely, hurt.  I don’t exercise when I feel fat (grand cycle, isn’t it?), when I’m low energy, when I’m emotionally down.

So maybe, instead of using this time in my life and this amazing buddy resource to focus on what I eat and how much I move, I should really look at the why’s and do some self-care.

Generally, I think: okay, I know why I eat, I know it’s emotional.  Then I go ahead and make physical changes.  So I think I am going to shelve the weight loss goal for a while, and concentrate instead on healthier ways to “fix” my feelings.  Generally, I’m a pretty emotionally healthy person but when things get hard I gain weight and life is crazy right not, and hard in a dozen ways. 

I really want to lose 20 pounds, so I guess it’s time to choose differently when I’m not feeling good.

Thanks for listening. 

A couple years ago I bought a digital scale by Taylor.  It’s supposed to give water and BMI ratings along with weight.  I stepped on a bunch of scales before I bought it to make sure it worked, but I have been disappointed ever since.  Can anyone recommend an ACCURATE scale?  Maybe I just need a regular ‘ol one, nothing fancy (b/c I need inexpensive this time) but I’d like to get one reliable.  I bought the digital because it gives tenths of pounds, and I thought that would be motivating: I wouldn’t have to weight for 3600 calories burned to see a difference on the scale. 

What I later learned is that digital’s store readings and if you are near the last reading, they often revert to the latest reading to give the illusion of consistency.  Doesn’t that bite?  With the scale I have now, I fluctuate several pounds in a 5 minute period.  I’m not relying on a scale to tell me how to feel or how I’m doing, but it is good reinforcement.

Ideas?  

I’m adding the readings to my weight ticker each morning, and it’s just funny.  In the past 6 days I have weighed: 140, 144, 136, 142.

I’ve gained 2 pounds since I signed up on Buddyslim.  Why?  Because I’ve been overeating (emotional triggers, of course) and rather inactive.  Not the weigh to better health or weight loss.  My emotional and physical energy is low, so that’s what I need to concentrate on and in the coming weeks, you’ll see positive changes from me.  Thanks for all the support.

QUESTION: can anyone tell me how to customize my weight tracker and change the wave design?

I have somewhere between 18-24 pounds to lose.  I don’t know where in that range will be my best size, we’ll see.  I’m hoping to be at a good, healthy weight by the end of the year.  I certainly don’t want to look at another year feeling overweight and out of shape.  So, I hae 133 days to meet my goal and I think I would like to set up a goal and plan for the next 133 days, that includes daily goals and then some big achievements.  Check back on my blog in a few days and I’ll let you know what the plan is.

I’m small and don’t have a fast metabolism, so burning calories is a slow process and I will try to honor that.   If I’ve got 20 pounds to lose, 133 days is probably not enough to do that (that’s over 1 pound a week, and a 700 calorie deficit a day is not practical for me) so maybe I will aim for 3/4 of my goal met by New Years.

THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOR CARING.  THERE WILL BE BETTER POSTS FROM ME TO COME… PROMISE!!! 

Comment and e-mails welcome, I’m cheering for each of you!

Sadness.  I lost a buddy.  I got an e-mail from someone I really wanted to BuddyUp with, but after I read it, it disappeared from my mailbox and I cannot find it.  If you read this, please get in touch!  Sorry

I’m grateful I didn’t gain this week- I sure didn’t earn any loss.  Next week will be better.

BTW: you guys all know scales aren’t exact, right?  They vary.  YOU vary by time of day, time of month, etc.  But your scale isn’t perfect, so please keep that in mind when freakin’ out over the unexpected -/+ on your scale.

Thanks. 

Ummm, that’s the whole post.  Just proud

Hey, ya’ll.  Today I had my first healthy food day in a while… although the Mr. Goodbar is soooo beckoning me.  It helps that I wasn’t alone at all today, so there wasn’t much time to secretly munch.

If you read this blog, please respond with a comment about the healthy foods you love to keep in the house.  Our mini-cupboard is just about bare and I was thinking about tomorrow’s grocery list.  Maybe we each have some secret weapons in this war.  My list is below.  List yours and check back, maybe you’ll discover something new!

MY YUMMY HEALTHY FOOD LIST, low calorie for the nutrients:

• pink lady apples
• pickles
• oatmeal (not the quick stuff!)
• artichokes
• cantalope
• rice cakes
• barley
• black beans
• fresh mix of greens
• honey mustard dressings, lite of course!
• clementines
• real, homemade, light on the sugar lemonade
• fresh corn on the cob (high cal starch, but filling)
• chai black tea
• barley
• mushrooms… portabellas especially
• carrots
• watermelon
• strawberries
• stevia
• lime juice

Okay, lookd forward to finding inspiration from ya’ll

I eat when I’m bored or overwhelmed, a bit when I’m sad.  I know how to deal with those emotions.  I know how to force myself not to eat junk (I’m not always successful, but I understand the how).  I know the typical advice: keep a food journal, take a walk, call a friend.

Yada Yada.

Anyone have tips?  Things that have ACTUALLY worked for you?  I want to know how to make changes so I don’t want to gorge or binge.  As long as I am just fighting the craving, I’ll win some and lose some.  If I can stop the cravings, I win.

Help?